Room 101

When I first thought of things I despised and could get rid of, naturally I thought of school, but then I remembered the rare good memories; winding up teachers, trying to set science labs alight, the good times. Even though they were few and far between. That was before the talk of exams started, and they did , only 9 months before the actual exam. It’s the teachers’ favorite time, when they can listen to the sound of their own voices blabbering on. Exam this, exams that, revise every hour of everyday of the rest of your life. So this made me think of the first thing I would get rid off and put into room 101, exams.
      We are taught these days that exams equal everything, jobs, careers, lifestyle that if you dare even fail an exam your life is over. You may as well go and dig yourself an early grave.  But are they really that important?  I mean so what if my grades spell fudge, I can still get a job, even if fast food restaurants are my only possible employers. Without exams life would be so much more enjoyable. Imagine never having to sit in that silent, freezing cold hall, with brainbox siting next to you who’s finished his paper in 10 minutes and now wants to sit and smirk as he sees you struggling to answer questions you can’t even read. So now without exams everyone is equal, school is a lot more relaxed and you never even have to think about that dreary task of revising. Yes, I hear you say society may be ruined, we may have prime ministers who don’t know the difference between politics and polio or astronauts who still think the moon is made of cheese, but life would be so much more fun without the constant worry of exams. Another task that is similarly as annoying is writing essays, even the word essay implies its going to be boring. It’s quite ironic how as I’m writing this essay I’m complaining about writing essays. They are just so painfully boring. You write line after line, trying to answer a question which is so blindingly obvious in 10,000 words. You add extra pointless words like thus, indeed, furthermore, so, more so and check your word count every line just to see if your nearer to finishing. And thats just the first draft. You get your essay handed back covered with scribbly red writing that you can barely read. You work and work for hours writing this masterpiece which then gets viscously marked as a D and makes up a whole 1% of your final grade. Brilliant! Essays what a marvelous idea.  The person who invented them obviously hated mankind.
        Another thing or group I really despise is chavs. Stereotypically, people who wear ridiculous baggy clothes, way too much gold jewelery, swear incessantly and seem to have their own language consisting of strange words and grunts which the rest of the world cannot seem to understand. Their anti-social behaviour gives Britain a bad name, even the police can’t stop them. ASBO’s seem to be more of a trophy than a punishment, every chav isn’t complete without one. I would either put them all in room 101 or brainwash them out of the yobbish ways. Some say it’s just the same view as on every social group, though I doubt any of the goths, sloanes or country folk would happily beat up an old woman to get a fiver.
        The next thing I would put in room 101 is far from social groups and ASBO’s. I would happily get rid of clowns, they have turned from every child’s favorite entertainer, to what is chasing you in your nightmares with a chainsaw. Their strange grins, big feet and scary laugh is enough to scare anyone. They are armed with secret weapons, the squirting flower is to blind you while he blasts his horn deafening you so that he can then strangle you with a balloon in the shape of an elephant. This is why all children should be wary of clowns and why they should be locked up in room 101 forever.
          Another thing similar to clowns is china dolls, they are just creepy, their emotionless white faces and big empty eyes staring at you all day long. At night they come alive and cause havoc among the other teddies. They should be put in room 101 or just smashed into tiny little pieces to stop us young children from getting scared.
          The last thing I would put into room 101 is quite general with obvious reasoning and it would be pain, thats every type of pain, emotional, physical, mental, life would then be quite lovely.  A life without pain would be quite comfortable really. Imagine you’ve just been brutally attacked and left face down in a pile of needles… you could just get up, dust yourself off and walk away without a scratch. It could even reduce the amount of attacks , there would be less jobs in hospitals, less money spent on healthcare so more money to spend on other things, it would solve so many problems. Obviously we still need death or the world would quickly over populate but death would be nice and pain-free, simply saying goodbye to the world.  Another small bonus is that   everybody would be happier and life would be dandy. The sun could always be shining like in films and everyone would have a happy ending. 
      Room 101 is now full with all the things I would love to get rid of, pain, clowns, chavs, essays, exams- that is a room I’d rather not visit. With this life would be much nicer but undoubtedly a lot more boring and dis-functional. For life has to have its good and bad parts because otherwise what would we moan about?