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Posted by frannn. on 23 September 2011 | Views: 2045 | 4 Comments
Stumbling in on your Garden of Eden,
You, him – touching and embracing.
Your eyes; closed. Your face;
A vision of elation.
I realise I have lost you.
He was the apple…
And you gave into temptation.
Comments:
1 Andy | on 07 November 2011
Brevity is underrated in poetry. Less is more in my opinion, and I think this is really simple and punchy. Every word feels like it’s been chosen with care and purpose. Really like it.
2 Hayley Buckle | on 08 November 2011
A really strong theme that works so well.
3 frannn. | on 09 November 2011
Thank you so much, both of you.
4 Daisy Jones | on 20 November 2011
I really love the idea of this poem… The theme running through it is really strong, and the imagery’s great. I love the simplicity of it.