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I havent posted in a while…here is some stream of consciousness writing for you

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My absence of faith
Is not a fleeting feeling
It’s the only thing Ive known
I never knew it before but its got a name
God came along and took the best thing I had away
My love
And left me with nothing
I see clichés all around me
Im struggling to exist in this town
In this world
Ive had 25 years of practice and im still no good at life
My old friend
You know me I hate everyone
The glances tell me the feeling is mutual
Ive always known
Im not like the other ones
They look down or look right through me
Ive always known lonliness
It is my oldest companion
And enemy
And im frightened youll leave me alone
Everyone will leave me alone
Leave me with
My emptiness
Into this world I was born
If I knew what I was getting into id give it back
But theres no turning back
I want to give up I cant have the ones I love feel how I feel
Know what I know
See their dreams die like I have
Im working my way, eating my way, drinking my way to the grave
When the man in the black hooded garb comes
My fears will fall away into a sea of nothing
My insecurities will be left on the Earth
I like to think I’d find peace
but theres no guarantee
Ill find the answer to this problem
When all that remains of me is a headstone in the ground
When the dying notes of a hymn fades out on a windswept autumn day
When the last echos of a prayer fade to a chorus of cries
While my body becomes just like a rock or a chair
And the lady in the black dress wipes away her last tear
My soul lifts towards the ether
I become no more than memory
The world doesn’t die when I do
Because Im just passing through


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