One way to spend the weekend

The night begins in a chain pub
Where by day they sell drinks and adequately priced grub
Where mates congregate about half 8
To begin drinking until they end up prostrate

In the garden they stand together and smoke
And shiver as they cough and they choke
Around heated lamps and under umbrellas
Whilst someone gets the rounds in for under a tenner

As the night wears on, the drink takes effect
The pints, shots and cocktails unsteady the legs
The urge takes over for basslines and beats
Stopping only at burger van for something greasy to eat

At the club, it has big burly bouncers outside
Waiting to have the strength applied
To anyone brave enough to cross their path
WIll feel their (possible) steroid fuelled wrath

Inside, guys with eyes
As big as meat pies
From the MDMA theyve been taking
Sweating and gurning, causing dehydrating

Theyre smelling fragrant and looking smart
Spent time sculpting hair into a piece of art
And the girls who blatantly have to much slap on
And spent too much time crisping in a tanning salon

The watered down lager thats way overpriced
Doesnt leave much change at the end of the night
Then its out the nightclub and off for a kebab
And talking yourself into a stupid scrap

Come the next weekend there’ll be stories
Told of last weeks dramas and glorys
And your out at a pub at the weekend
Repeating last weeks pattern with the same friends.