I gradually woke from unconsciousness feeling the cool summer breeze flow over my pale, still body, my eyes flittered open, the suns beam filling my room with a golden glow, every now and then a ray of light would escape from behind the curtains, which fluttered in the breeze like a butterfly in a meadow on to my face bringing with it a comforting warmth as the suns beams sneaked in to my room, I could see the dust dancing, performing for the summers sunshine.
As soon as I moved I became aware of the harsh pain pounding through my head, the aching throb in my stiff muscles, what had happened to me? My mind began saying at a growing pace as the pain intensified. I searched through my memories of last night but nothing came to mind.
I slowly rose from my bed feeling like I had just run a marathon. As I moved a wave of dizziness ran through me and I stopped dead in my tracks a picture flashed through my mind a forest, but then as the dizziness cut off so did the image. The only emotion I had was confusion, all I knew was that something had happened to me last night, something that had caused me pain but that something was a complete mystery.
I began to hobble towards my door as I approached it I collapsed, holding myself up was too hard, I crashed to the floor unbearable pain shot through me, I grabbed the handle and pulled myself up, I started towards the bathroom holding the wall for support I did not want a repeat fall.
I ran the shower and began to undress but something unfamiliar hung over my shoulders a jacket, a man’s jacket. I yanked it off my back ignoring the moaning aches escaping my mouth who does it belong to? And why did I have it? I had not worn a man’s jacket since Caleb my first and only boyfriend. I gently lifted it to my face smelling its fabric interior it was a familiar heavenly scent but one I could not put a person too, more confusion crept over me, I dropped it to the floor and slid off my sweats, I stepped in to the hot downpour of water. As it came in to contact with my body I sighed in relief, I ran my fingers through my hair massaging my scalp the pain began to ease and as always the warmth made me feel secure.
As I tipped my head back another cloud of dizziness washed over me I had to sit down, I stepped out of the shower grabbed my towel and sunk to the floor the soft fabric wrapped around me and I asked myself the only question I could what was happening to me? I needed to know where I went, and then it all came to me last night at about 10 o’clock me and my dad had had a tense argument, I stormed out to get some space, I had run all the way to my favourite place, the river in the forest where my mum used to take me before she died, a faint silhouette came to mind and then it vanished from there on it was a dead end. What did I do? What happened? All these questions bombarded my mind, I needed some answers, I knew nothing except for one thing last night I was not alone!
I then had a gut wrenching feeling that I was being watched, my eyes scanned the room searching for any evidence of my insane paranoia but there was nothing, but that conclusion did not stop the panic that engulfed my body that feeling of suffocation. I sprung up from the floor forgetting about my aches and pains, all I was focused on was revealing my intruder if there was one. I grabbed my dressing gown and pulled it over my body, beads of sweat began to develop on my forehead, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end what do I do?
I gently opened the door being careful not to make a sound, I crept across the hall I couldn’t hear anything, why oh why did my dad have to be working this weekend. I made my way to my room my panic increasing; I ran in and slammed the door.
I knew what was coming I was going to have an panic attack it would not be the first time but I thought I would never be in the position to have another one, I thought my bad luck had ended when the nightmares had stopped. I shuddered no time to remember bad memories but that thought made me panic more, my vision then became blurred as tears stung my eyes, I began to whimper tears overflowing from my eyes and gripping to my cheeks. My breathing changed as I started to hyperventilate, “No don’t please stop” I whined not wanting to have a panic attack, my father hadn’t yet recovered from the last time I was already under what was like surveillance as my farther worried that my nightmares would return and I would start having black outs again. “No stop thinking about that” I cried but it was too late I was way to hysteric, I could not calm myself at this stage, and then the doorbell went. I froze, I tried to move but my body would not let me, I needed help, I needed someone anyone, but what if it was him, I began to scream getting more and more frightened and more frustrated with myself for getting so worked up. BANG! the door thundered open somebody had broken in, oh no, oh no breath I thought to myself breath. I heard the intruders’ feet pacing towards my door tears poured down my flushed face, my sobs growing louder until I fell from my bed and slipped in to the darkness
“Ellie! Ellie! Can you hear me” I could feel smooth hands gently stroking my face, they shook as I lay still not moving, I could hear the panic in the persons voice as they tried to wake me from my unconsciousness, I could hear the panting breaths of my company the thumping of their heart against their chest.
I took a deep breath and caught the familiar heavenly scent but I could not remember where I had smelled it, but the odour calmed my body as I realised I was safe but who was so desperate for me to wake up? My eyes fluttered open and in my line of vision were the most amazing chocolate brown eyes that sparkled faintly, I could see the worry seeping through burning on my face, this sight took my breath away.
“Ellie can you hear me Ellie?” the voice whispered breaking as he said my name, It was Toby my science partner, who had been my friend since he moved here 3 and 1/2 years ago. Before I could answer his question tears trickled down my face, I was okay I wasn’t in danger, my whole body felt at ease. “Ellie sweetheart its okay, I’ve got you” he said relieved, his soothing voice right by my ear his breath soft against my cheek, that’s when I realised I was in his arms, his warmth sent a shiver down my spine, I felt safe wrapped in his arms. I snuggled my head in to his chest staining his delicate shirt with my salty tears. “Oh Ellie you did scare me” he murmured, his arms reaching around my back to pull me up so I was sitting on his lap and then carefully but tightly pulled me in for a hug. “Thank-you so much” I sniffled against his torso, he softly ran his fingers through my damp hair “No thank-you for being okay” he answered I looked up to see him staring at me his smile stretched across his face, that cheeky smile that made my heart melt. I looked down brushing the wet patch on his light blue shirt. He caught a tear that fell from my face with his finger “ come on wipe those tears away” he said taking his sleeve in his hand and gently brushing it against my face. I looked down and I was then aware that I was in my dressing gown!
That realisation had me tumbling to the floor as my legs tangled in his after I jumped out of his toned arms, but once again I was in them as he grabbed my elbows and pulled me up, his touch sent a smouldering current through my veins and I could feel my cheeks exploding with colour, I was blushing. A light chuckle escaped Toby’s lips “well you are one for accidents” he sighed. I smiled weakly embarrassment was the one thing I didn’t need help with. I looked up and once again his eyes shocked me and everything I was about to say washed away, I looked down trying to regain my concentration. “What, how, why are you here?” I asked with wonderment.
He looked away “ I wanted to make sure you were okay, I called last night and your dad said that you had an argument and I know that you hate fighting with him, so well, you know the rest” he answered, he turned his head away from me, I lifted my hand to his cheek and gently touched his clenched jaw and turned his face so I could look him in the eye, a pink flush rose up his neck from what I could only imagine was embarrassment. His puppy dog eyes met mine and I ever so lightly rubbed his cheek “oh Toby…” I started, his eyebrow arched waiting for me to finish “I’m so glad you’re here, I really needed you”. The corners of his mouth rose revealing that amazing smile he owned and the two dimples on his cheeks, and I just couldn’t resist, I slowly removed my hand from his cheek and laid it on his shoulder and edged closer to him pressing my lips to his soft, warm, pink cheek, as I breathed in I got another whiff of his sweet odour, and then it clicked, I knew where I had smelt that before, the jacket had the exact same scent. Whatever had happened last night Toby had witnessed it, he had to know something and I was going to find out what.
I stepped away from him even though every nerve in my body ached for me to stay close to him. I felt the colour drain from my face as my head began to spin, I reached out for my desk chair and began to slide it out, Only I was so unsteady I fell to the floor in a heap. Toby was there by my side in an instant his hands feeling my fore head “ Ellie are you okay?” I raised my gaze to his face questioning his story “ T…T…Toby” I stammered, his expression edged for more information. “Why did I have your jacket on this morning?” his facial expression changed, his face guarded in some way. “T…Toby answer me” hysteria quivering in my voice his face told me that he was hiding something. “TOBY” I shouted, his eyes scanned my face.
“Um…I…I went after you, you know last night I knew that you’d go the river and when I caught up to you, you were um… passed out, you were ice cold so I wrapped my jacket round you and carried you home” he finished his voice stiff. “But why didn’t you call an ambulance or tell my dad why just sneak me in? And how did you get in?” all these new questions were overflowing in my mind. “ Ellie I should go, I’ll call your dad tell him your ill okay?”
“No, no I need to know what happened”
“Ellie, I don’t know like I said I um found you”
“STOP LYING TO ME!!! I screeched, being lied to was the one thing I couldn’t handle the one thing that made me sick. He stood up and began pacing rubbing his temples with his fingers. “ Please Toby? Toby please?” I whimpered, “ Something happened to me last night and I’m scared, please?”
He sat down in front of me his head hung low. He reached out and took my hands in his “Ellie it could be dangerous please let it go” he begged his voice breaking. I removed my trembling hand and placed my finger under his chin lifting his face to mine, I searched for his eyes beneath his hair “Please” I pleaded, he let out a painful sigh and stared at my face for a few seconds “Ellie, I’m so sorry but I can’t “
“Ellie you don’t understand please listen to me…”
“No I’m fed up of the lies”
“Ellie I don’t have a choice, just tr…”
“GET OUT” I screamed.